Pete Wentz Puts His Okra Wand in Ashlee's Butt

Celebrities really ought to learn how to keep their sex stories to themselves, especially if their names starts with Pete and ends with Wentz.

While on Howard Stern’s radio show earlier today, Pete Wentz said of his sex life with wife Ashlee Simpson, “We have an amazing sex life.” He added, ”We have such sexual chemistry, if we had been on this show last year, we’d probably be doing it in the green room right now.” 

But with Asshole just recently having given birth two weeks ago, they’ve had to look for alternative routes of pleasure.  ”We do other fun stuff. She’s not ready down there.” (That’s code for he likes putting his strap-on in her butt.) 

Ashlee strikes me as the type of girl who could be easily convinced to take a load to the face, but she’d be saying “Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew EWWWW” the entire effing time, so while normally the idea of butt sex might make my nipples all hard with excitement, I can’t quite say now is one of those time.  

Nothing is as unattractive as the idea of someone trying to be sexy.  It’s like watching a puppy watch porn. Unnatural and unnecessary.

Source

Pics of Ashlee Simpson and her post-baby boobs en route to see Fall Out Boy perform live Dec. 8. after the jump!