Spidey Commits Suicide, Marry's Fug Girlfriend

Spiderman Tobey Maguire has done the unpredictable and married girlfriend of four years, Jennifer Myer. The wedding took place in a sunset ceremony in Kona in front of a small group of family and friends, including close pal Brad Pitt.

Look at her fug face and tell me he didn’t marry her because her dad is the President of Universal Studios. She looks like Hayden Panettiere mixed with Galadriel. He probably had to sign a prenup.

“Growing up the way I did, I had a very serious ambition to make some money, to have some security and comfort in my life,” the star told Parade in April.

Apparently, serious enough to marry. You know his eyes had dollar signs when he saw her. Or maybe she just makes his wiener smile.

More photos after the jump!

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