Heidi Montag In Hot Pursuit to Become A Barbie

In quite possibly the best story I’ve heard all morning, Heidi Montag will be be made into a Barbie doll.  Well, according to her anyway.  I’m pretty damn certain Mattel execs have better things to do, like masturbate and stuff, but who knows, I may be wrong.

Like that time I thought he was aiming for the right side of my face but instead pointed it right into my eye. But I digress.

“I’m waiting for my Barbie Doll,” Heidi told Socialite Life exclusively last night. “That’s what I want next.”

But The Hills star won’t be waiting long. Spencer was quick to reveal that he and Heidi will be taking their plasticity (yes, that’s a word) to a whole new level.

“We just talked to Mattel yesterday, and we are already working on our own Ken and Barbie,” Spencer confirmed.

Heidi isn’t quite sure what she wants her doll to wear. “I haven’t really thought about it that much, but I’m really excited,” she said.

Calls to Mattel were not returned.

God please let this be true. Well, the phone call part.

Then when Heidi and Spencer show up to sign the contract they’ll enter a conference room only to have a bucket of puréed banana dumped on them in a room filled with hungry monkeys. And smurfs. Because when was the last time you saw a Smurf? Exactly.

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