Snatch Talk Tuesday with Tracy Lynne

Hey F-Listers! It’s great to see you again…and can I just say…you’re looking good!

Todays topic comes from a devoted reader and an Flisted favorite…here goes!

You already know how much I love your column so I’m really looking forward to seeing what advise you might have for me… Here’s the story (short and sweet)

I’m a 32, single, fun, attractive, easy-going etc. I was is a serious relationship for 6 years and engaged for about 4 of those years. We broke up about a 1 ½ ago. I’m not going to bore you with details but it was for the best. There was no 3rd party involved, it just wasn’t right so we cut our losses. Since the break-up, I moved back to the city from the ‘burbs. I had a lot to deal with,

moving, starting a new job etc. so I wasn’t ready to start dating until now.

Here’s the problem; having trouble meeting ANYONE worth sharing a meal with! I’ve been with and had relationships with women in the past so my options are not limited there. I’d prefer not to go to bars to meet someone. My social life does not revolve around booze anymore like it did in my twenties. Herb is my “attitude adjustment” medicine of choice these days. Besides, most of my friends aren’t single so “hanging out” isn’t as simple as it once was. Anyway, I’m really enjoying my freedom since this is the first time I’ve ever lived alone so I’m not looking for another relationship but I’m not interested in casual sex either. I would like to “date” someone but I’m having trouble meeting someone and I’m not ready to try the internet (for obvious reasons). A few people I’ve been interested in fall into the casual sex category. I want to meet someone who’s actually interested in DATING, you know, get to know me. Any suggestions on how to meet people who still

practice this primitive ritual???

-Nicole

Well Nicole, congrats on getting back into the dating game! I know finding a suitable date can be a headache…but nothing beats the butterflies and first kiss that an awesome date has to offer.

You have made a very good decision to avoid bars as a meeting place and I understand your reservations about the internet. As far as meeting someone you’re interested in dating, my best advice would be to spend all your free time doing things that you love. If you love spending your sundays at the dog park- go! If your thing is museums- go! That way you are surrounding yourself in a pool of singles that is already sharing a common interest with you. Finding people at your same mental level is not easy, but I find if you simply do the things that you love, and things that stimulate you…finding the right mate will follow. Don’t be afraid to do things alone…I know it’s hard when all of your friends are in a relationship, but don’t be afraid to take on hobbies solo. This will also help you get to know yourself..because we all know if you don’t love yourself you can’t fully love another.

I just want to touch on one more thing and I may be WAY off. I’m only reading your question, we never had a conversation, but it’s something I picked up on. You mentioned you didn’t want a relationship but you don’t want casual sex either…but you also want to date someone who wants to get to know you. I think you need to decide exactly what you want. For most people dating is the basis for a relationship so getting them to invest the time knowing you don’t want to be in a relationship might be a struggle. I don’t think that’s the case at all with you…but I think you need to open your self up to the possibility of finding someone to fall in love with again. Once you make the conscious decision about what you want you will start attracting people with the same clear intentions.

I hope this helped!

If you have a question you would like answered or a topic idea email me at ASKTRACY@FLISTED.COM nothing is off limits! And if you would like to learn more about me click HERE or HERE. See you Thursday!