R.I.P. Ryan Adams

Dear Ryan Adams,

What happened to you?  For so many years did I long to feel your swollen c()ck inside me, but no more. Now you look like a bloated Rick Moranis.  Did the pressure of being a beautiful man get to you?   More importantly, do the carpets match the drapes?

Love,

F-Listed Editor

XOXO

Even Mandy Moore is looking at him in disgust, as if to say, ‘Ugh, how do I f^ck you at night? I should have snagged you when you were still hot.’

Here’s the hot couple in NYC earlier this week.