Benji Madden Acquires Strain Of Unnamed STD

Paris Hilton has got herself a new penis for her vagina to infect. So who’s the new man with barnacles growing on his junk?

That would Benji Madden, brother of Nicole Richie‘s douchebag of a husband Joel Madden, as seen in these photographs of the two CDC targets leaving Fred Segal yesterday.

Methinks Paris might be in with the pharmaceutical companies because by now this skank’s face should be overrun with herpes from all those facials she’s been roped with.

Damn pharmaceuticals have given her the antibody in exchange for her spreading diseases across the globe! The CDC needs to hurry up and quarantine the parasite fast before she infects us all!