Ashton Kutcher Drunk Dials the Internet With Twitter Video on ‘Honesty’

You know what I would do if I got caught cheating on my wife? I’d post a “truth” video on Twitter. Which is exactly why I stand by Ashton Kutcher’s decision… to sleep with a younger woman and then explain his side of the story. He opened up a can of dialogue on you, suckers.

In fact, he nailed it by rambling about the printing industry while at the same time copping to the fact that he got caught cheating on his wife. At least that’s what I understood this video to be. Damn you, printers!

What a strange and obscure way of trying to swing popular opinion in your favor. Dude just sounds like an idiot. Or, as our friends over at The Superficial put it, it sounded as if he took “an incredibly long-winded and douchey way to say, ‘Please stop paying the whores I [f'ed] to talk about how I [f'ed] them.’” No deal.

You got caught, Kutch. You got caught cheating on this:

With this:

Own it, bro. And, also, get off the Internet. In times like this, the Internet is no friend, but an enemy.

Check out the video, along with some of the transcript, after the jump!

Details:

He says, “I just wanted to open up a little dialogue on the state of honesty. The state of truth. The status of truth as it pertains to literature and media… Publishers (once) held great scrutiny over what they were willing to print because their reputation was on the line. When the cost structure comes down on printing… the level of honesty of literature starts to plummet… I started thinking about that in relation to media and social media today where the threshold to actually have literature printed and distributed… is zero dollars… thereby there is no gatekeeper of the truth…”

Kutcher adds, “We are our own editors, we are our own publishers and we are our own printers. Therefore, people can bastardise the truth in any way, shape or form that they want and spread that around the world… A lie can travel halfway around the world before the truth can leave someone’s lips… “I was thinking that we really have to take it upon ourselves to instil a level of honesty… in the works in the media that we create and share with one another… and be certain that we are doing our own diligence that what we are saying is for the benefit of another.”

Video: