Hump Wednesdays: Sexpert Q&A — How to Snag a Lady

Q: How do I talk to women? I have no problems getting laid, but when it comes to meeting a girl I actually like and would like to date, I always come out losing.

A: You know, I am amazed at how many men have asked me this question during the course of my short-lived life. So many men expect to get the perfect girl (you know the kind hot, so fabulous at fellatio that she can make you shoot your load in under five minutes, cooks, isn’t about money, let’s you hang out with your boys, etc.) and yet you forget one crucial detail: respect.

If you approach your “dream” girl the same way you approach the skank you picked up at the bar this weekend, you’re never going to get anywhere. You can’t whip it out and expect the girl to want to date you. I’ve heard men call women “c^nt” and “whore” at even the swankiest at bars and it perplexes me every time.

How the hell do you expect the chick you want to even look at you twice if she overhears you trash talking about the girls around you? And don’t blame it on the alcohol, because then you just come off as absolutely powerless.

When you see what you want, go after it. Go talk to her. You won’t lose anything in trying, and you’ll gain more experience, too. But compose yourself. When you purchase a car or a house you just don’t walk into a bank and ask for a loan. No, you do your research. You have to think things through. Calmly.

Watch what she’s doing, what she’s interested in. The music she picks on the jukebox. What kind of shoes she’s wearing. Believe it or not you can tell a lot about a women by her shoes. Whether or not she’s wearing stilettos, black Converse, or flip flops says a lot about a women. Of course, don’t be creepy about it. Don’t be too obvious. You don’t want her to think you’re some creepy stalker.

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Furthermore, believe in yourself. It doesn’t matter what you look like or what you used to look like, confidence goes a long way. Don’t believe me? Say you’ve heard it before? Well then how about those nasty fugs you see at the bars or at the mall, or wherever, with the beautiful girl? It can happen, but you have to want it to happen. You have to will it to happen.

Alcohol sometimes helps one’s confidence levels, permitted that it’s not abused. As a matter of fact, lady’s magnet George Clooney openly admitted he used alcohol to get the ladies because it made things flow more smoothly.

He says, “I was very awkward with the opposite sex when I was younger. I think every kid is for a long period of time. The only time it changes is when alcohol comes into play, that’s what happened with me. Alcohol helps a lot with women, it smoothes things over.”

In the end you have to be the confidant version of whomever you truly are deep down inside. And be treat the woman with respect, no matter if she turns out to be the biggest whore or whatever. Word gets around, and you might wind up c*ck blocking yourself in the end.

And if things don’t work out, then whatever. It wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be. Better than staying with some chick you don’t even like because she knows how to suck you off and then you wind up knocking her up and now you’re stuck with some chick you can barely stand to see in your bed in the morning.

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